Voices from the Mines of Madness

Recently I ran Mines of Madness as a 5e one-shot for some teens.


Scott Kurtz and Chris Perkins serve up some silly-hard fun with a comic and deadly tone much closer to White Plume Mountain than Princes of the Apocalypse.


So Lander, the party's curious thief, buys it spectacularly in the very first encounter--massive damage, no death checks, no Spare the Dying ... none of that.  Just ... dead.  

Given how hard it is to die in 5e, the players were surprised to say the least, but after a moment of gaping they got right back into character.

"Should we say some last words or have a moment of silence or something?"


"I guess so."

"I hardly knew him.  We weren't very close, but then a purple worm ate him instead of me and I feel like we've had a lot more in common since then."

"Yeah."

"That was beautiful."

A bit later, a significantly more cautious party encountered a cockatrice.

"What do we do?"

"Well, I could try to shoot it from here..."

"No!  I can't remember if you turn to stone if you look at it, or if it looks at you--and that really matters right now!"

They decided not to risk it and headed off to explore in a different direction.  Reed the Halfling, a nominally Lawful Good fighter / tank electing to linger near the back and leave risks to others despite various bonds and flaws that painted him as fearless and doggedly loyal ("He's going through a phase; it's just something all halflings go through.").

Encountering a hall full of undead dwarves, the now very cautious party decided to use a distraction to try and slip past them rather than wading into combat.  Reed's player scanned her character sheet: 

"This is for all those haters who said you wouldn't need an iron pot!"

The distraction bought them the time they needed and the explorers went on to avoid several other encounters before meeting their doom.

It wasn't until the end of the session that we realized we'd played for hours without a single combat since Lander got swallowed back at the very start of things--that initial pulse of extreme danger had caused the players to shift gears and focus on exploration and survival rather than just bashing monsters.
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Have you had similar experiences where that first encounter set the tone?

Do you find that all your halflings go through that stage too?

A Cleric Without "Spells"

Recently, while one of my "Homeguard" players finished up a Castle Greyhawk adventure that I tied into UK module "The Gauntlet," the other took a break from regular fare to play "Howls in the Night," a 1994 Ravenloft stand-alone module that takes its inspiration from The Hound of the Baskervilles. 

It aims to be primarily investigative and social, not unlike a Call of Cthulhu scenario, but feels the obligation to throw in a series of combat encounters about 2/3rds of the way in ... presumably because players would be getting antsy to kick some butt by that point.


My solo player whipped up three second or third level characters in a couple minutes on a few index cards--a thief, a fighter, and a cleric. 

I don't particularly care for the cleric class outside of a vampire hunter roll, and I find that if I place the Cure Light Wounds and Turn Undead as spells on the Magic-User list, that clerics seldom get played, but since this was Ravenloft it fit nicely.  

As an experiment, to support the tone of the setting (which was much more Elizabethan than mediaeval), rather than have the cleric choose spells from a list, we just asserted that she could seek divine favor from time to time.  The player wouldn't be able to specify the effects, but this would work as an opportunity to "invoke DM fiat."  The cleric wouldn't always be able to tell what the effect was or even if her pleas had been heard, but the effects would generally be subtle and would approximate the impact / power level of 1st level clerical magic. 

We found that this worked very satisfactorily for this setting and storyline, and since any mechanical effects were handled  strictly by the DM, it created uncertainty that complimented the tone.

Pre-prepared clerical magic has often struck me as odd ... the priest will decide eight hours in advance, apart from any context, what divine miracle she is going to require?

Third edition's spontaneous healing option felt like a better fit for the class.
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Have you ever tinkered around with the cleric class?
What did you try and how did it work out?

Redeeming Castle Greyhawk

My youngest found herself in need of an army.  

Her party had been driven out of Castle Adlerweg by  hobgoblins, and though they'd pacified the giant who had allied with the bellicose creatures by returning his daughter, there were just too many of the fell folk to best in battle--a hasty retreat was by far the best option.


Now, however, she had to turn her mind to how she could recapture the fortress ... ideally before Baron Kelvin learned of the debacle ... and it wouldn't be easy.  Adlerweg was built high in a pass, straddling the overland route connecting her homeland with the Duchy of Rhoona and the steep valley of Barovia.



She'd need some stalwart allies; preferably an army of them ... though, she considered, a dragon might do in a pinch. 


Of course she still had that enchanted ring given her by Princess Argenta when the party had traveled by magic to Haven to liberate the silver lady's palace from its curse.  They had parted ways on quite good terms, and Argenta's champion rode a silver dragon; a friendly enough chap too!

The ring had to be "charged" with magic to bear its wearer and her companions back to Haven, and even then nothing was ever guaranteed where such otherworldly magic was concerned ... but how many scrolls should she expend in the effort?

It turns out that "one" was definitely not the right answer.

Now the party is ... elsewhere.  Where exactly?  A city in some strange crossroads world where distances seem to wrap in on themselves and all sorts of strange creatures rub elbows.  This place seems full of magic and routes to other worlds, but which doorway is the right one?  And how can a person get the proper key?  

Now many of the odd and shady denizens of this city-between-worlds have taken an interest in the newcomers.  It seems that there's plenty of help to be had in these parts ... for a price.


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Here's where one of TSR's most-maligned products comes in ... 


This city of strange magical gateways is, I decided on a whim, a fine location to plug in chunks of TSR's 1988 Castle Greyhawk!

Yes.  Greyhawk is a series of short "comedy" adventures ... many of them more weird than funny.  Many are parodies of TSR products ... D&D getting roasted via a D&D publication.

Yes.  Despite the name, you don't get to see any of Gary's original mega-dungeon.

Yes.  Some of the writers go out of their way to mock Gygax (and the players).

... but for all of that ... there's something there.  

Setting aside some of the blatant nonsense of "Drider-man," "Captain Kork," and "Elfin John," there are some compelling and strange elements scattered among the eleven adventures and 128 pages.

Consider the through-the-looking-glass tumble of "There's No Place Like Up" by Paul Jaquays, where north is replaced by "up" and the party must struggle to escape a pocket dimension where gravity is their implacable enemy.  

Rick Swan's "It's My Party and I'll Die if I Want to" is a funny, but quite reasonable take on the standard bunch of humanoid badies trying to get noticed and recruited by their dark overlord of choice.  Rather than just attacking the party, the critters assume the explorers are VIPs, giving them a chance to unravel the plot as long as they can keep up the charade.

Even "Against the Little Guys" by Steven Gilbert, featuring a magician-huckster who tries to exploit his discovery of a magic gate in an ill-advised plan to make a quick buck, has a very solid concept and requires only modest polishing to make a workable non-parody adventure.

Finally, I've got to say that, as a DM, running crummy or fixer-upper adventurers can be pretty liberating.  The flaws are obvious and clamor to be fixed, but also there's very little pressure to "do it right" in some quixotic quest to "do justice" to the source material.  

Running Maze of the Blue Medusa could be really intimidating when you want to help the players experience the awesome ... but the bar is considerably lower when DMing Castle Greyhawk's "The Temple of the Really Bad Dead Things."

What fixer-upper adventures have you gotten the most miles out of? 

Dwimmermount Finale: Reservoir Dogs

A short-notice faculty meeting threatened to play havoc with our last scheduled club meeting of the year, but an old friend came to the rescue and provided supervision while my daughter ran a game of werewolf for the 20-some kids assembled.  The villagers won, but by the time I could return to club we only had about an hour left.

While Catan, Citadels, chess, and Betrayal at House on the Hill ramped up at other tables, we dove right back into the action on Dwimmermount's third level: "The Reservoir."

Last time Brunhilda (still grieving the loss of Ferdik) Dillam the Wizard, Danny the Arthropod, Ghaul the Elf and friends had finally discovered the chamber they had sought for roughly the last 10 sessions.


Using a recently discovered Engineer's Rod and a Comprehand Languages spell, Dilliam was able to follow the instructions that Loomis Dooin had given the party.  Reddish lights buzzed to life in the surrounding hallways, there was the swish and gurgle of fluid gushing through unseen pipes, and the very stone of the Dwimmermount began to gently vibrate beneath the explorers' feet.  They had successfully reawoken the mountain!

Reading the scrolling schematics that lit the strange, vitrium wall panels, Dilliam learned that this level contained a vast grotto-network reservoir of azoth ... hundreds of thousands of gallons (perhaps millions) of the precious, combustible stuff of raw, interstellar magic!  Making a few notes from the shifting map-display, he led them hasily toward the massive, adamantine hatch that sealed the storage caverns.

When efforts to force the hatch failed, Brunhilda and Dilliam soon fell to using the azoth they had recovered elsewhere to try and blow it.  A strange, gray garment, its sleeves and collar knotted, had been converted into a container for several gallons of the stuff.  Wedging this bag in place, they managed to detonate it without killing anyone.  The adamantine hatch was scorched but still intact.  The surrounding wall, however, cracked along the hatch-seam, creating a small gap. 


Elated, Brunhilda started making plans to shove a torch through the crevice in hopes of detonating the reservoir and blowing the top off the mountain!

Brunhilda, it seems, wished to make all of Dwimmermount into a mighty pyre for her beloved.  Dilliam, having been corrupted by the mental carress of Arach-Naca, was intent on freeing himself from the influence of the dreaded demon the only way he could!

Perceiving that doom was at hand and having no strong desire to be blown to bits, Ghaul sprang to stop the pair with Kermit, the kitten, and Danny at his side.

While Matilda and Zekiel took to their heels, racing for the surface, a desperate battle between the party members errupted behind them.


As much as I value player agency, I don't usually allow PvP / combat within the party in my middle school games as it tends to result in squabbling and hurt feelings, but this made sense within the context of the campaign and it was our final session of course. 

The battle see-sawed back and forth with Ghaul going down early under Dilliam's blows.  Danny (who abandoned his veggie-balloon) played a pivotal role, his poison forcing Brunhilda to suffer disadvantage on her attacks once his bites finally found a chink in her plate harness.  Kermit's spear snapped about the time that Dilliam fell and Brunhilda punted the kitten through the crack and into the reservoir.

In the end, Kermit and Danny prevailed, though each had but a single hit point left.  Stripping but a few items from the fallen, they staggered back toward the stairs ... and straight into the arms of the cruel, marble maiden that guarded the top of the steps!


A natural 20 attack roll spelled swift doom for Kermit, but baby-headed Danny managed to wriggle free and scamper off into the shadows of level two ... becoming yet another strange inhabitant of Dwimmermount.

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All in all, a good season with a great deal of fun had by all.  Unlike last year's group, these players were less interested in unraveling the deep mysteries of the mountain and its origins--frankly they were happy just to stab things and look for loot.  Irony, pratfalls, and unique characters made this group especially memorable.

Though this weekly campaign is over, I'll still be doing a fair amount of role playing this summer: 

• my Olde School Wizardry homebrew RPG is now around session 120 and a I hope to have a fresh print copy on the table soon
• my older daughter has made about 20 delves into Stonehell and we still dabble from time to time
• A new brick and mortar game store, Your Hobby, has opened in our area and they seem very accommodating to having folks come in and play some pick up games
• our Home Guard B/X game is a couple sessions into Castle Amber
• a group of former students, now high schoolers, have asked me to run a 5th ed one-shot reunion for them (I'll grab something from the One Page Dungeon Contest)
• finally, in July, I'll run two weeks of Adventure Games Camp for about 26 middle schoolers and my oldest is prepping Castle Ravenloft, practicing scenes with me

I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a full summer!